an eventful last few days.... the day after i wrote the post below i went into st pauls to buy some chicken and rice and peas for myself and fellow colleagues..... and after someone tried chatting me up i went into my car and turned it round only to come face to face the woman referred to in the post who had not only had sex with my ex husband in my bed but also had a child for him and in the early stages of our marriage had kept by his side constantly, pretending to be having a relationship with his friend...... well initially i smiled, to be greeted with a scowl.... and then i took a proper look and this woman is how the jamaicans would call 'mash up'. she looked a complete and total mess.... and it's not like me but i just had to laugh....... she used to be really quite pretty but she has turned into a real mess.... i also discovered that her husband is now out and about dancing intimately with another woman whilst she's at home pregnant......... i just had to think to myself - what goes around comes around......she stood in the street shouting verbal abuse at me that i couldn't hear cos i had music on in the car and just looked back and smiled, which the guy that was chatting me up thought was directed at him...... even though i'd said to him 'if i let go of my jamaican husband, why on earth would i want to take up another ?!!' i think he just took that as a challenge...!
i thrust myself into some digging in my garden on friday before the rain came down and spent 10 minutes energetically digging over some hard soil that the workmen had been walking over for the last few months...... i keep forgetting that i have certain limitations and the rheumatism in my back was excruciating yesterday. there is always a 24 hour delayed reaction with both m.e. and my rheumatism..... i am also paying the cost for staying up too late. even my 6 year old son gave me a lecture at 00.30 the other night about staying up too late.... 'mum', he said having woken up, 'we had a little chat in the car didn't we about you staying up too late... if you continue to stay up late mum you are going to get tired.' i do actually love being corrected by my children sometimes, cos they have such an innocence in their delivery..... what i didn't realise was that for the last few days my m.e. symptoms would be so bad. spent friday on the sofa falling asleep to the film 'the constant gardener'... eventually i managed to piece together the sense of the film! v. good in fact. i like any media that highlights the corruption that goes on in africa....
yesterday my back was in agony and the whole world was a fuzz.. i spent most of the day in bed whilst my children entertained themselves making books, drawing, doing homework, watching tv and coming in every now and then to cover my face with kisses... it's times like this it's so useful to have a flat, cos literally i'm just in the next room....
well, i shall heed in as much as i will get some early nights - so i may not be around as much.... am going to purchase a little lamp today and spend some evenings in bed with a good book...
even though my back is killing me and tablets aren't touching the pain.... i will be out in my garden today planting stuff in the patch i had dug over! i have cucumber plants, one surviving courgette plant that the slugs didn't get, a cardoon, some chives, some hot pokers, daisies, little cute purple flowers to all plant up in this section amongst some sunflowers i will transpose. but i must promise to myself i won't overdo it!.... and there are the window boxes i want to plant up on my kitchen windows with lettuce and some butternut squash seeds i want to plant... and.... and.... and...... i find it hard to sit still!
i have decided... i need a man to come into my life and do the heavy duty digging work. this is my plan for any future relationship. he does the hard work..... i come along and make it look pretty.... that's fair enough isn't it ?! i mean.... marriage is all about gardening isn't it?! lol
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